WHY SHOULD I BECOME AN EGG DONOR ?

WHAT IT WAS LIKE DONATING MY EGGS

She had been thinking about it for years but it wasn’t until Covid came along that the time seemed right for Christina to donate her eggs for IVF

Lockdown has affected us all differently but for student midwife and mum of three Christina it spurred her on to do something that had always been at the back of her mind – the chance to help another woman have a child.

“As a trainee midwife I’ve seen what it is like for people who have tried unsuccessfully, sometimes for years, to have a baby of their own, and the joy on their faces when after undergoing IVF their dream finally comes true,” said Christina, 29.

“I’ve got three lovely children of my own and don’t want any more, so it seemed like a bit of a waste of my eggs not to donate them and give another person the family and children they so desperately want.

“When we were trying for our second child it took me a year to become pregnant again. I was completely panicking so I can't even comprehend what people who can’t conceive go through or how they must feel. It must be absolutely heart-breaking.”

After Covid forced her to study at home, Christina was catching up with friends one evening when an appeal popped up on Facebook from the Bristol Centre for Reproductive Medicine (BCRM) seeking potential egg donors.

“We’d just been learning about conception at uni and how complicated it all is and I found it really fascinating, so when the ad popped up it was almost like fate, I suppose, and I followed the link for more information.

“The team at BCRM were brilliant. As soon as I emailed and said I was interested, they sent me through some details, and said if I decided egg donation wasn’t right for me that was fine. There was no pressure. It was very much at my own pace.

“I started talking with the clinic last April and they set me up on Zoom so I was able to chat with people over video calls, and although I couldn’t go in and speak with anyone there was always somebody to go over things with me ‘face-to-face’.

“I told my family what I wanted to do and they were all really supportive and kept saying how selfless it was and they were really proud of me.”

Over the next few months Christina underwent medical screening including blood tests and family background checks to rule out serious genetic or hereditary conditions that would prevent her from donating her eggs. Happily everything was fine.

Meanwhile, to make sure she understood the short and long-term implications of donating her eggs, Christina also had a session with a counsellor from the clinic, who is neutral and not directly involved in her medical care.

“Counselling sounded really scary but it was fine. They were just making sure I understood and went through everything step by step and what it all meant. You get to think the whole thing all through before committing.

“They explained any child conceived from my eggs would have the legal right to contact the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority for identifying information about me when they turn 18, but that they wouldn’t be able to trace me independently.

“I also had to write a description about myself: what I look like, what I like and don't like, what my hobbies are, what I’m interested in, my level of education, but without them knowing who I am.”

Christina started the egg donation process five months later.

“They sent the medication through to my house and I went through what I would be taking with a nurse, and how to inject myself and then we set up a plan for me to take the drugs for a certain number of days.

“I had to go into the clinic three times for scans and bloods. They would talk me through everything they were looking at and show me how many follicles or eggs I had, and how big they were.”

Under HFEA rules it is illegal to pay for egg donation in the UK. However, donors can receive compensation of up to £750 per donation ‘cycle’ to cover their costs, which came as a surprise to Christina.

“I was just doing it because it was something I wanted to, so when one of the nurses said they were going to reimburse me, I was like ‘pardon?’ I totally didn't realise that there was money involved. I had no idea you got any compensation.

“But it did cover the costs of me travelling to the clinic, taking time off work for the scans and for childcare. I was quite willing to do that anyway, so it was a nice surprise.”

Christina says although the medication did not affect her mood, she was nonetheless glad when the process was over.

“I was getting really bloated and bizarrely felt like I was pregnant. I guess if your body is used to producing just one egg a month, then it’s producing a large number then it’s going to feel a bit different. But it was fine.”

“When I came around, I woke up and sat up too quickly which made me feel horribly sick but that soon passed. I did feel poorly for about 24 hours but I kind of expected that. After that it was fine and back to normal.

“They told me that they’d got a really good number of eggs and that two separate couples were going to use them.

“I’m so thrilled to have been able to play a part in helping couples experiencing fertility issues to have a much-longed for family. I’m really glad I did it and if it’s right for them, I would definitely encourage other women to do the same.”

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WHAT’S IT LIKE DONATING YOUR EGGS TO ANOTHER WOMAN?

For Lisa, the decision to become an anonymous egg donor is something she would definitely recommend to other women, but says it is important to take things at your own pace

The chance viewing of a TV documentary about child surrogacy planted a thought in the mind of mother-of-three Lisa* that would just not go away.

For the 27-year-old, the BBC Surrogacy series reminded her of being 18 and fearing she would never be able to have a family of her own due to a possible health condition.

“They thought I might have polycystic ovaries and in my head I catastrophised this to mean I might never be able to have children.

“Happily, I was able to conceive later on and thankfully there were no complications, but watching the programme did make me wonder if I could help someone else less fortunate.

“I didn’t want to be a surrogate but learning more about anonymous egg donation made me think it was something I would definitely like to investigate.”

After spotting a Facebook ad for the Bristol Centre for Reproductive Medicine (BCRM) for egg donors, Lisa took the leap and filled in the application form.

“I decided not to follow it up for about six months, because I wanted to think about it a bit more and then contacted them again to say I was interested in going forward.

“There were forms to fill in, and as we were in lockdown most of my contact with the clinic was via Zoom which worked very well and everyone was really kind and friendly.”

Lisa underwent compulsory counselling where it was explained she would not know the person who she was matched with and that they will not know her.

“What I didn’t know though, was that any child conceived through my eggs could apply to know who I was when they got to 18. That was a bit of a shock. The potential of a child coming to find me wasn't something I’d thought through.

“But later giving it some serious thought, I decided to go ahead.

“Initially it was all really quick. The longest part is getting matched with a recipient. Being picked was a really nice feeling. Our menstrual cycles then had to be synched ahead of the egg transfer.

“There were six weeks of medication. I did the injections myself at home. I didn’t think I could do it and it felt weird at first, but I just got on with it.

“I was a bit bloated towards the end, but apart from that there were no problems.

“After the procedure I was fine. I had to stay put for a couple of hours and was then able to go home. I was pretty much back to normal the next day.”

Lisa says she would encourage other women to donate their eggs.

“I would definitely recommend it, but I would say you really need to make sure that you are emotionally ready for it because is a big decision, but for me I’m really happy I did it.

“I’m even thinking about maybe doing it again one day.”

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“JUST INGREDIENTS”: WHY NAOMI CHOSE TO DONATE HER EGGS – TWICE

An egg donor shares her story of helping others build the families they long for

For Naomi, a 26-year-old mum and soon-to-be university student, egg donation wasn’t something she rushed into – but it always felt like the right thing to do.

“I can’t remember exactly when I first thought about it,” she said, “but after I had my daughter, who was a bit of a surprise, and she turned out to be absolutely perfect, I just thought, well, I don’t want loads more children, and I’ve clearly got decent genes. Why let them go to waste?”

Naomi made her first donation in March this year through leading fertility clinic, BCRM, and is now preparing for her second before starting college in September.

“I’d been thinking about it for a while, but once my daughter was born, it just clicked into place.

“I knew how lucky I was to have her, especially since she wasn’t planned, and it broke my heart to think of the women who never get that feeling, whether because of infertility or not meeting the right person in time. I wanted to do something that might help.”

One of the most common concerns around egg donation is whether the donor will feel emotionally connected to any resulting children, but for Naomi, that was never an issue.

“My friends would say, ‘But that child is as much yours as your daughter is’, and I just don’t see it that way,” she added.

“My daughter is mine because she’s half me, half her dad, and because we’ve raised her together. A child born from my eggs will just have a bit of my DNA, they’ll be completely someone else’s child, raised in a loving home.”

She credits the counselling she had before her first donation with helping her feel clear and confident about her decision. “Some women might feel differently, and that’s fine. But for me, I’m just providing the ingredients. That’s it.”

Naomi admits she was a little apprehensive about the hormones injections she needed to have to stimulate her ovaries to produce multiple eggs instead of the single egg produced naturally during a regular menstrual cycle.

“I don’t do great on contraceptives, so I was worried I’d feel a bit crazy. And I did, a little, but it’s only for a couple of weeks, and everyone around me knew what I was doing, so it was totally manageable.”

The egg retrieval itself went smoothly, with 21 eggs collected, 15 of which were mature. “I was curious about the whole process, especially as I work in the healthcare sphere. It was interesting being the patient for once.”

The only emotionally difficult moment came right after sedation. “I had a little cry when I woke up,” she admits. “It reminded me of giving birth to my daughter, which was quite a traumatic experience for me. But the feeling passed quickly. Physically, I felt fine.”

Naomi also found unexpected support from a close relative during the injections. “She’s diabetic, so she helped me the first time I had to inject myself. I was a bit squeamish at first! But after that, it became part of the routine.”

While her mum had some understandable concerns - mainly about any potential impact on Naomi’s future fertility, which it was possible to reassure her was unfounded - she and the rest of the family were ultimately very supportive.

“They all just said, ‘Good for you.’ I think they saw it the way I do; that it’s something generous and positive, not something to worry about.”

Naomi knew almost immediately after her first donation that she wanted to do it again, and with university starting soon, the timing felt right.

“I just wanted to do it before life gets too busy,” she says. “And I thought, while I’m still young and my eggs are in great shape, it makes sense to do it now.”

On whether she would recommend egg donation to other women: “Only if it feels right for you. If you think you’d get too emotionally involved, maybe it’s not for you, and that’s okay. But if, like me, you can see it as helping someone else have the experience of being a parent, then it’s one of the most fulfilling things you can do.

“I just hope the eggs go to people who’ve been waiting for so long, people who are going to love their child with all their heart. That’s what it’s about, really.”

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WOMAN DONATES EGGS INSPIRED BY HER OWN MOTHER’S FERTILITY STRUGGLES

A single mum from the South West has donated her eggs through Bristol Centre for Reproductive Medicine (BCRM), inspired by her own mother’s experience with infertility.

“My mum struggled to have children, so I’ve always been aware of how difficult it can be,” said Penny (not her real name). “When I realised, I could help someone else have a family, it just made sense.”

Now a mother of two herself, Penny made the decision to donate after seeing friends and acquaintances go through fertility issues, including IVF and pregnancy loss.

“I didn’t struggle to conceive my own children, so I thought, why let healthy eggs go to waste when someone else might need them?”

The 30-year-old says she found the process straightforward and supportive, from the initial online application through to the final egg retrieval procedure.

After completing health checks and counselling sessions, she began a course of hormone injections to stimulate her ovaries.

“Because I’ve had two children, the injections didn’t really bother me,” she said. “You get used to that kind of thing during pregnancy anyway.”

Apart from some mild bloating, which she attributes to a short delay in the collection to fit around a bank holiday, Penny says she experienced no significant side effects.

“It all felt very manageable. I was able to carry on with work and looking after my son and daughter as normal, and the appointments were easy to fit around my routine.

“The whole process was really well explained from start to finish. “Everyone I spoke with at BCRM was patient and understanding, and they made sure I knew exactly what to expect at every stage.

“They also worked around my work schedule and family commitments, which made it all feel very manageable. It wasn’t as daunting as I initially thought.”

Being a mum to a four and an eight-year-old, Penny decided to be open with her children about the donation, tailoring the explanation to their age.

“I just told them in simple terms that Mummy was helping someone else have a baby. I wanted them to understand that it was a kind thing to do, and they accepted it without any fuss.

“It felt important to be honest, even if they don’t fully grasp it yet.”

Reflecting on the experience, she says that she has no emotional regrets and recovered quickly.

“I felt fine throughout, physically and emotionally. The recovery was smooth, and I never doubted my decision for a second. If the opportunity arises again, I’d absolutely do it.”

Her message to others thinking about egg donation: ‘go for it!’

“You’re giving someone the chance to have a family, and that’s something really special. What could be more meaningful than that?”

BCRM’s policy is to recruit their own egg donors, accepting only use altruistic donors who are healthy, aged between 18-34, have undergone full screening, testing and counselling, are UK-based and HFEA registered.

The Clinic fully matches donors to would-be recipients’ characteristics and requirements through full consultation. The details of treatment using donor eggs is available at https://www.fertilitybristol.com/treatments/donor-egg-treatment

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CALL FOR MORE BLACK AND MIXED-HERITAGE EGG DONORS

With black women making up just 3 per cent of egg donors for women with fertility issues, one donor explains why she was compelled to do it twice

For teacher Angela, it was a no brainer. After reading about a national shortage of black egg donors for women seeking IVF treatment, she picked up the phone to see if she could help.

After undergoing tests and counselling at the Bristol Centre for Reproductive Medicine (BCRM), Angela, who is now 26, was accepted as a donor.

In the past two years she has donated her eggs twice, undergoing two weeks of fertility-boosting hormone treatment each time, followed by a procedure to retrieve her mature eggs.

“I was sad but not surprised when I heard that women from black and black-mixed backgrounds rarely come forward to donate their eggs,” said Angela, who is of Belizean Scottish heritage.

“To be honest it’s not something that is ever really discussed in the community. I've heard the same is true with blood, platelet and organ donation.

“I suspect it’s due to a mix of factors, including cultural practices and norms, and combined with a lack of opportunity. More should be done to raise awareness of the issue.

“There is also a warranted distrust of medical organisations, with black women recently reported to be four times more likely to die in childbirth than white women.”

Angela says she would like to urge more women to come forward and says that the egg retrieval process is nothing to be afraid of.

“You are doing a wonderful thing,” she added. “For many women, using donated eggs is their only hope of having a baby.

“There are many couples and families who would love that there’s an ethnic or racial link between them and their child; a chance for their child to look more like them, even if it's only a little.

“Recipients have a general description of their donor (but of course no photos) so it makes sense to seek a donor who may have similar traits.

“These couples and families have really thought it through. They desperately want to have a child and I’m in a position to directly help them achieve this which is a great feeling.”

Angela praises her treatment at BCRM – who provide specialist fertility treatment for both private and NHS patients – who she says treated her with warmth and kindness.

“When I spoke with BCRM, I had tons of questions but was always given time to ask as many questions as I needed. And I certainly asked a lot!

“You are under no obligation to donate if you change your mind or want to take more time to consider. I always felt I was in control.

“There is also a counselling session with a counsellor from BCRM so I had the chance to explore what I felt about, and the implications of, donating my eggs.”

Sadly, Angela says in her own case she felt unable to tell her parents and family about her decision to donate, and only told her partner and a couple of close friends.

“I didn’t feel able to tell my family about my decision because I knew they would not be happy and would have encouraged me to abandon the idea,” she added.

Angela says she has experienced no ill-effects following the procedure which is carried out in hospital and takes around 30 minutes and is done under mild anaesthesia or sedation.

“You feel a bit uncomfortable in the last few days before the egg retrieval because you’re a bit bloated and I had to wear joggers, but other than that it was fine.

“It took me a couple of days to recover after the op. I stayed in bed and relaxed and took it easy. Afterwards everything just went back to normal.”

Angela says she is happy to hear from any children born using her eggs who will be given her details by the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority when they reach 18.

As well as a shortage of egg and sperm donors, a recent report showed 31% of black women have fertility problems relating to their fallopian tubes, in comparison to 18% in the average population.

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STUDENT 21 DONATES HER EGGS FOR IVF

After spotting an ad for egg donors for IVF treatment on her Facebook page, a thought stuck in the mind of 21-year-old Katie that would not go away.

Maybe, thought the young medical student, it was something she could do.

“I was interested from a medical point of view because of my studies, but was also drawn to it on the personal side when it comes to fertility issues after supporting a friend who had a miscarriage.

“Going through difficulties with your fertility isn’t something that gets talked about all that much, and yet it affects so many women.

“It made me think that if I could help someone else it would make me feel so happy. I just thought, why wouldn’t I want to do that.”

Katie responded to the ad posted by the Bristol Centre for Reproductive Medicine (BCRM) and was invited along for screening.

The process involved checking her and her family’s medical history, taking blood tests, and talking through the egg donation process.

“I have to say that the people at BCRM were fantastic,” added Katie.

“Obviously they’re quite keen for young people to do it because there is generally a higher success rate, but I didn’t feel under any pressure.

“Every step of the way they said to me if at any point I wasn’t comfortable or there was anything I wanted to change or didn’t want to do it, that would be fine.

“Before deciding to go ahead I had to have an obligatory counselling session and spoke with a specially-trained therapist whose job it is to make sure I fully understood the procedure.

“She made sure that I had thought about it from every angle including my perspective on any children that would be born as a result of donating my eggs.”

Katie was matched up with a suitable recipient and underwent a six-week course of hormone medication, which involved injecting herself daily.

“I was really lucky; I didn’t have any side-effects at all which is surprising as they told me at my last couple of scans that my ovaries were enormous.

“The procedure was fine. It was the first time I’d been under an anaesthetic so I wasn’t sure how I would feel when I came around.

“I felt a bit nauseous at first but was fine after some anti-sickness medication. The theatre nurses were great and gave me biscuits and drinks and kept checking up on me.

“I was a bit sore for a couple of days but it wasn’t unbearable. I was relieved when it was all over and that it had gone well, and I found it to be a mentally rewarding process.

“I’m really happy I’ve done it, and I’d encourage other women of my age to give serious consideration to donating their eggs while they are still young.

“If anyone did decide they’d like to do it, I would definitely recommend that they go to BCRM because the whole team were amazing the whole way through.”

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HELPING OTHERS START FAMILIES: AN EGG DONOR’S STORY

A woman who doesn’t want children of her own has spoken about her experience of donating her eggs and hopes sharing her story will encourage others to consider doing the same.

"Kitty" – not her real name – donated through the Bristol Centre for Reproductive Medicine (BCRM) earlier this year and is currently going through her second round of donating.

She says she had been thinking about egg donation for some time and was drawn to the idea of helping others start families of their own.

“I don’t particularly want my own children, but I know for others, carrying a pregnancy is deeply important to them,” said Kitty, 27.

“I kept coming across information about donation and just thought, ‘I don’t need my eggs, why not help someone who does and help fulfil their dream’.

“It just felt like the right thing to do.”

Kitty says her family and friends have backed her decision, and that her partner “has been amazing” – coming to appointments and ‘being there every step of the way’.

She describes the whole donation experience as overwhelmingly positive and praises the team at BCRM for their care and communication throughout.

“They’ve been brilliant,” she added. “I never felt worried; it was actually a relatively stress-free process.”

The donation process involves hormone injections and regular scans in the lead-up to the egg collection.

“You start with a tablet to reset your cycle, then move on to evening injections for five days. On the fifth day, you add a morning injection too and go for regular scans.

“The first jab was a bit scary, but after that, it was fine. I felt a little crampy after the egg collection, but by the next day I was completely back to normal.”

In her first cycle, 20 eggs were collected and 15 successfully fertilised.

Kitty, who works in the beauty industry, says she’s always felt comfortable being open about her decision.

“It’s not a taboo subject for me. I chat to clients about it all the time. I remember the counsellor asking if I’d spoken to anyone about donating, and I was like, ‘I talk about it every day at work!’”

She’s also open to the idea of being contacted in the future by a donor-conceived person.

“I’m not particularly maternal; I wouldn’t feel like a mum, more like a big sister. I’d be happy if someone got in touch, but I’m not longing for it either.”

Kitty said she would be delighted to know if her egg donations have led to a successful pregnancy.

“It’s not about the eggs themselves, it’s about whether someone got to complete their family. That would be amazing to know. That I actually helped.”

BCRM, based at Aztec West in Bristol, runs a well-established egg donation programme and offers full support, information and counselling to potential donors.

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CONVERSATION THAT SPARKED A GIFT: GINNY’S JOURNEY AS A THREE-TIME EGG DONOR

Egg donation had never crossed her mind, until a casual lunchtime chat with college friends planted an idea that wouldn’t go away.

“I was 17 and doing my A Levels and it came up as a random topic of conversation”, said Ginny (not her real name), who is now 21 and studying for a masters.

“But I just couldn’t get the thought out of my head. I thought ‘why not?’ It just felt like something I could do to help.”

Following an initial donation through a local fertility clinic near her family home, Ginny continued her journey at BCRM, where she donated twice more.

“I simply thought, if I have the ability to help someone create a family, why wouldn’t I?” said Ginny.

“Egg donation wasn’t something I had ever considered until that lunchtime chat, but once I knew it was an option, it felt like the right path to take.

“It’s incredible to realise that such a small act on my part could mean the world to someone else. It’s something I feel really good about.”

Of mixed British and Caribbean heritage, Ginny belongs to a demographic underrepresented among UK egg donors, leaving hopeful parents from similar backgrounds facing longer waits for a suitable match.

Building on a positive start at the first clinic, Ginny has praised her experience at BCRM, a specialist fertility centre offering IVF, egg donation, and other assisted reproductive technologies.

"It was honestly easier than I expected,” added Ginny.

“The clinic explained everything so clearly, and I felt looked after the whole way through. Once I got started, it all felt very manageable and in a funny kind of way, quite exciting.

"I thought it would be more intense, but it was actually really straightforward. The nurses were lovely, and I felt completely supported from start to finish.

"The counselling made sure I’d thought everything through properly: that I wasn’t just ticking a box which gave me confidence I was making the right choice.

"The day after the retrieval was a bit uncomfortable, but honestly, other than that it was great, and I was back to normal, and I carried on with my life.”

Ginny says her parents and friends were fully supportive of her decision. And while she has the option to be informed if any of her eggs have resulted in a pregnancy, she doesn’t feel the need to know.

During her three egg retrievals, Ginny produced 15 viable eggs in the first cycle, followed by 48 and 42 respectively in the subsequent sessions. Some eggs were frozen, while others were used fresh, depending on timing and recipient matching.

"If any children conceived from my donation want to reach out later in life, I’m open to contact. But I don’t see the eggs as mine in a parental way, more like giving a gift that could help someone else’s family grow.”

Ginny’s advice for other women considering egg donation? “If you can do it and it feels right, then go for it. But if you have doubts or it feels difficult emotionally, then don’t push yourself.”

In 2021, a survey by the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA) revealed that 82% of patients considered it important for their donor's ethnicity to match their own.

From 2016 to 2020, only 4% of new egg donors were of mixed ethnicity, compared to 4% of the UK population aged 20–39. Black donors comprised 3%, while Asian donors were at 4%, all lower than their respective population percentages.

BCRM has one of the best success rates with IVF and other fertility treatments in the UK and is involved in innovative research covering a range of fertility issues.

The clinic has a dedicated egg donation team to provide all the information a woman might need to help her decide to become an egg donor and will support donors every step of the way.

Details are available by calling 0117 428 6808 or email eggdonation@bcrm.clinic